variation on a theme, in another's words

Keep walking, though there's no place to get to.

Don't try to see through the distances. That's not

    for human beings.

Move within, but don't move the way fear makes 

    you move.

Today, like every other day, we wake up empty and 

    frightened.

Don't open the door to the study

and begin reading. Take down a musical 

    instrument.

Let the beauty we love be what we do.

There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the 

    ground.

--Rumi

After a lengthy hiatus...

Why, hello there. I seem to have forgotten I have viewers/readers. Life has gotten, I must say, rather mundane again. It has a tendency of doing that. But I guess I still do have some observations and anecdotes to share with the general public.

One of them is that I forgot how much I enjoy summertime. I usually do not like for school to be over--partly academically, partly socially--but then I get to stay up late with my best friends watching multiple Paul Newman films (mmm), or blow bubbles and draw with sidewalk chalk with a group of friends mid-afternoon just because we can, or staying up all night, sleeping in, and doing lots of bike riding and yoga-ing. That is when it is nice to be back in Wheaton.

I have also been lately wondering why this summer I do not have a job. I had a job lined up for this summer last fall, before I started traveling, but things at the office changed and that was not an option when I got back. But, it was also too late to plausibly pursue other options. There was also the fact that my summer schedule will not really put me in good standing to get hired; two weeks here, two weeks away, etc. My mom started commenting, "You should really get a job for the summer." Oh boy. Now, finding work had become an actually important stress.
I wanted to protest, maybe more to explain the whole thing to myself than to my mother: "But I've been working all year--I just haven't been paid. I have been learning and thinking and growing and stretching and observing and listening and waiting and trying

                                                                       SO


                                                 HARD.
This is not the beginning of an era of laziness--not even Latin America could truly cause that 180-degree change in my personality. Don't worry. I have no designs of mooching all my life. I have just taken this time to put the learning and the discovery before materialism, just as I set out to last fall. I am healing, growing more, changing, reacting, putting-into-place, preparing, and processing life this summer. That's the job ahead of me. Its only salary comes in non-monetary goodness: peace (putting things to rest), joy (in new things I now know I love), and maturity."

After making known those things to myself, and explaining them to Mom (whose core concerns, it turns out, were more against my very possible summer boredom than about the laziness of it all), we both realized that I am "redefin[ing my]self, not by all [I] do, but how [I] choose to serve and grow....[that I am] lying fallow for a purpose right now". 

My dad's comment on the same conversation was this: "[S]sometimes the purpose may be realized not in what you do, accomplish, or change, but just as much with how God is molding you amidst the relative quiet."


So, several things came out of this. A new, peaceful state of mind when approaching this seemingly lazy and slobbishly unemployed summer. The re-realization that I have amazing parents that really do mean the best. And that God holds every moment, shapes every moment; not that I have to look for his reasoning or try to make out the story from his omniscient point of view. After all, the best novels and fables and stories unravel in a way that the characters cannot predict but the Author can appreciate. No, I'll leave to him the omniscience; for now, I will accept the fact that he is here in Wheaton with me, too, just as he was in Argentina and Colombia, and that now--as then--he is teaching me, and my work is to be receptive.


xox

These are a few of my faaaavorite things... :)

I have been re-remembering, re-noticing, re-observing my Wheaton life, and making note of all the things that I love about this area. This is for when Colombian or Argentine friends finally come to visit me--the parts of the United States closest and dearest to me.

• Lawson field (home to many great afternoons with Kipper and/or evenings stargazing)
• Cantigny park (tanks and roses--a perfect symbiosis)
• Immanuel Presbyterian Church
• La Roca Eterna Church
• Wheaton North High School
• Oberweis ice cream
• Prairie Path (good long summer bike rides)
• Cosley Zoo (particularly when the lambs are born)
• Glen Art Theater (for an afternoon movie on a rainy day in the tiniest, cutest, cleanest theater I know)
• Wheaton College
• Einstein Bros. Bagels (because they do not have bagels in South America)
• Dunkin Donuts (the Dunkin in S. Am. is very latinized--and tasty--but the original would be cool to show)
• the Metra (train into the city--double-decker would be a big difference!)
• downtown Wheaton
• Tate's Old Fashioned Ice Cream
• Popcorn Shop
• Adam's Park
• Mai Thai Restaurant
• Wheaton Public Library

then if we extend the bounds of the tour to the city...

• beach
• Millenium Park summer concerts (with a picnic on the lawn)
• Shedd Aquarium
• The Cheesecake Factory (US-sized portions of very good food :) )

then if we extend to the midwest...

• Michigan or Indiana sand dunes
• the prairie sky :)

then to Pennsylvania...

• Erie
• orange-and-vanilla-twist ice cream at Sarah's
• the beaches of the Peninsula
• Nana & Poppy's old house
• Red Hots (greeeeeasy little diner with fantastic chili cheese fries)
• Philadelphia
• Eastern U's campus
• Q Mart (a weekend flea market in Quakertown)
• the Liberty Bell

I hope this list inspires you to think of what places YOU consider to be lovely treasures in your own neck of the woods. All places were created to be enjoyed to the fullest. And shared with good friends.

xox

Compare and Contrast

As I sit here, typing in English and singing in Spanish, I think it an appropriate setting to unleash my observations as to the similarities and differences between my hometown Chicago/Wheaton and Bogotá, or perhaps, my South American experiences in general. Plus, this song has such a fun rhythm. Well worth checking out here. Even if you don't understand a word. :)

For starters, public transportation has been a big switch. Here, with my thrice weekly rides on the Metra to Chicago, my pocketbook was the first to notice a difference. One ticket, $7. I told some of my Colombian friends this--their response was something to the tune of, "Really?? What, do they serve you breakfast or something?" Nope. Just that first, ours is not government subsidized (Argentina, and I think Colombia as well). Second, that good old fashioned capitalism and greed drove the bigshot owners to snitch millions from the Metra's profits before they all found out, so, now we're paying to make up the difference. Another difference in public transport, though, is the return to personal space I have begun to notice (/lament). Everyone keeps walking through a train car of half empty seats desperately searching for that one space where we won't be required to share air, or conversely, where we will not potentially offend someone with our closeness. A third difference lies in consumption of alcohol. In the public transport system in Bogotá, I do not believe I ever once saw a person holding an alcoholic drink. Certainly, undeniably, I saw dozens upon dozens of rather tipsy or downright inebriated passengers, but they never brought the offending substance in with them, even late at night. Whereas, on my (so far) only night ride back from Chicago involved several tipsy someones and several beer holders. Just interesting to me that specifically in Chicago (as a friend asserted that you'd never see such persons on Boston public transport) our independence, or at least self-perception and belief in personal freedoms, has led this to be socially acceptable. Seems a bit off. At the same time, I never saw in Colombian or Argentine children quite the same excitement at riding in trains. Mostly due to its daily reality and familiarity for those South American children whose parents don't have the time or money to drive places, children shuffle or are pulled around the stations and buses with general looks of nonchalance. Meanwhile, the little girl I had the pleasure of noticing yesterday brought a joyful smile to my face with just her exuberance at being on the train's upper level.
As a beautiful side story, I shall here indulge us with this little girl's choice of train activity. First of all, she had elected to sit in the upper level of the train (another part of our train system that doesn't exist in our Bogotá or Buenos Aires neighbors). Secondly, she was carrying a stylish pink purse, that was apparently deceivingly spacious: she proceeded to pull forth from it an entire tea-for-two set, also pink, and place lovingly each item on her father's lap. She burbled happily about the tea set, the scenery outside, how the tea party was to proceed, and all manner of things as she readied things. The lucky father let her do her thing and fuddled with his iPhone until she was ready for him to actually participate in all her musings. When the time came for me to exit the train, partaking of the tea had only just commenced. I half wanted to congratulate her Little Majesty on the excellence of her tea party, but I liked the image too much as it was, and let them be, un-self-consciously.

On to an area of similarity, albeit loose similarity. During my time in Bogotá and Argentina, I may have blogged mentioning the Recyclers that take on the job of rooting through everyone's trash looking for recyclable items to resell for a pittance on which they, their families, and often the work horse must live. Incredibly hard workers, incredibly discouraged and hardy folk. Anyhow, all that to say I saw one Recycler in Chicago one day on my second week at CVLS: an African American fellow, perhaps in his thirties somewhere, rolling a moving box on wheels around the area where I work, picking up valuable looking knick-knacks. I wanted to peek into the box as he passed, but as I had no reason to stare, I just walked on while silently thanking him for being a fond reminder to pray for the needs of Chicago as well as Bogotá and Buenos Aires. The proceeding week, that would be this week, I found myself really desiring to reach out to some of the homeless people I see on my walk to work, almost daily. Having prayed about it all weekend, on Monday when I got off the train, I picked up a hot chocolate at the station on my way out. Not knowing exactly for whom my little gift of heat and tastiness was destined, I walked on, across the bridge where usually there are two people asking for help and today there were none. I walked on past the Civic Opera House. I walked on to that corner and peered around to see if the other bridge was being manned by the fellow who usually sits there, asking. Not to be seen anywhere. So, as I turned to face the direction of the office a bit downtrodden--as heading in that direction I rarely see anyone who would be in quite as great a need of some hot cocoa--I saw the Recycler. Of course, Father, I thought. Thank you. He walked across the street towards my side, and I waited for him to get onto the sidewalk before saying, "Excuse me, sir? You look like you could use some hot chocolate. Would you like this?" And I extended my arm in faith. Oh, yes please, ma'am, he uttered in almost a whisper. God bless you.


God bless me? The little suburban white girl who just had enough money for a train fare, a give-away hot chocolate, all the clothes she had bought herself, and the food she had packed with her for lunch? God bless you. And I hadn't even mentioned anything about how much Jesus loves him, is caring for him, and notices all that he is struggling with right now and always. God bless you.

Humility and gratitude and graciousness, when truly lived out with genuine good heart, change an entire week for someone.

That's universal.
xox

lunch break post

Back to work. Well, relative to Spring Break skiing, it's work. But it is only a three-day week. :)

I have started my internship with Chicago Volunteer Legal Services, and am back at home for a couple months. First of all, let's discuss this internship and what it involves, and why I'm doing it.

I am thinking that, potentially, a career combo of Spanish and law could be killer cool. As is my custom, though, I did not want to even approach that possibility without a tad of experience or testing it out. So this time at CVLS is like an observation period. I am a little sponge. I love hearing the office's conversations and phone calls, and at some point I will get to go to mediations with them, and even to court. Sweeeeeet. For the moment, however, I am doing intern-y things. Things I like, things. :) Have I ever mentioned in this blog how much I love Office Depot? Yeah. It's quite possibly my favorite store ever. Anyway, so the things I am doing--entering in case information to the database, making copies, sending out letters, scanning mass amounts of documents, making small calls--are very fulfilling. Also, they tend to be somewhat mindless, so I can easily take in my surroundings and learn.

It is good to be in a city again. Three days a week is better than none. I am slowly realizing the draw of basically all young people worldwide to the cities rather than the suburbs. There's nothing to doooooo. Especially because all my friends are in school--either high school or college--and, therefore, busy. So I have ended up in the gym every day (a plus! I'm not complaining!) and/or helping with math homework (sisters...) and/or skyping Colombia, because, OH YEAH, I left my heart behind. woops.

I mean, don't get me wrong, it is great to be back with my family again, but last week and this, I have felt some serious Bogota-withdrawal. There were always street arepas, coffee shops with real coffee, friends around and about to go out with, and modes of public transportation that trump battling it out with your sister for the family car.
The other thing is that it's strange to live at home and NOT be studying anything. I feel like I should be in high school or something. Because while living in the gray house here in Wheaton, it's all I ever did. Limbo till August will be strange...

Ah well. Here's hoping I am back there in South America soon. (July, perhaps? :) )
Hope you've had a pleasant week so far! It's almost Friday. Hang in there.
xox

Home...sort of!

Well, I am home once again. Or, to put it more precisely, I am with my family once again. I was home for a few days, but now I am skiing with my family in Utah for the week that my sisters have spring break. It's pretty sweet. Day one of skiing went really well.

How did I get here? Just a week ago I had such a crammed schedule of farewells that I had to turn people's meal or snack or outing offers down. I was sadly torn between leaving and staying. Even in the plane, the moment the wheels left the ground and I could see that beautiful Colombia from the air, the tears came. It's such a lovely country. I'll never be able to stay away for long.

Now to explain the silence of the last few days in Colombia. Friday, after round one of farewells to the kids at the Foundation, I had a sleepover with LB and we laughed and slept well.

Saturday, I ventured down south again to meet up with G and his family for the afternoon. His dear, Colombianly generous parents welcomed me to a Colombian food lunch--cocido boyacense (a yummy meat and potato varieties stew from a region called Boyaca). This with rice, chicharron, and lulo juice on the side. SO TASTY. :)
After second helpings, G and I set to viewing photos. Seeing pictures of our time and friends in Argentina gave us lots to laugh and smile about. It's just such a blessing to have had the chance to really, truly get more time with some of those great friends I made in Buenos Aires. G is one of them.
Then, G's sister K arrived with her cool boyfriend E. K decided she would give me a manicure. Wow, best manicure of my LIFE. Check out the photo. Uh huh. :)


After the manicure and obligatory photo taking that followed, we all piled into the car as it poured down rain and headed to the mall. We looked at window displays, took pictures, laughed. I caught sight of a shop called Totto, and wanted to go in. I had been wanting to have a Totto backpack for college...and with K's help, I found it. It's beautiful, and will remind me of it's beautiful country every time I see it.
When we had finished in Totto, we went up tot the food court for ice cream. I got tasty maracuya, G got avellana (hazelnut), K got pineapple, E got coco (coconut), and the parents got rum raisin and guanabana. After the ice cream had been fully enjoyed, we started for the car again. G got distracted by some (I'll admit) fantastic looking/smelling arepas, and so we stopped to get some. Mmm.
Piling in the car once more, we headed to the apartment of their son and his family. There was a birthday celebration for their mother-in-law, and I was allowed to tag along. I love the Colombian sense of family, and inclusion. It's beautiful!
We left the celebration after 9:30, cutting it close Transmi-wise, from a standpoint of the assumed truth that G would be accompanying me home and then returning home again. I love Transmi rides with friends, especially at the end of a good day with them. And carrying an awesome new backpack from Totto. :) We both got home safely, and slept well.

Sunday. The day to bid farewell to the great community of Puerta Abierta Church. Marv and Judy went to PA too, and I sat with them and with Diego, his mom, and his grandma.  Pastor E asked me up front for a sending prayer--along with my "parents from Bogota", Marv and Judy--and they prayed for me in English and in Spanish. Then I told them all "thank you" for the way they had accepted and blessed me even in such a short stay; for the beautiful community that they are. Then they gave me a purse from one of their church friends in Guatemala as a parting gift to remember them. Is it likely I'll forget them, or be able to go long without being back with them? Not on your life. :)
They were selling empanadas for a fundraiser after the service, but with so many goodbyes to say, I missed out. Then the V family and Diego and his mom and I went out to a mall called Floresta for the afternoon. I had ajiaco for the last time this trip. Mmm.
Then, they took me to some artisan shops to get some remaining gifts for friends. Success! When we had finished perusing, choosing, bargaining, and purchasing, we all sat down for a little break. That was when they surprised me with gifts: Diego's mom a Colombian cowboy hat keychain, J (youngest V daughter) a plaque explaining the meaning of my name/personality, S (the eldest V daughter) fabulous Bible verse fridge magnets, and Mr. and Mrs. V the outfit I had worn for a "mamacita" photo in our parody at ECA. :) Those lovely goofs. So dear.
We did some more shopping and some more eating--Crepes & Waffles ice cream, to be exact. That was a beautiful time of thanking each other and sharing how we had learned from one another--I and them--and how we would miss each other.
Then we headed home, and Diego and I went to Marv & Judy's to hang out and say our goodbyes. He is such a good friend. I will miss him a lot.
That was the night I packed. I did not want to waste anymore daytime hours in Bogota on packing, so I just stayed up and got it done.

Monday morning, I slept in and then went to the grocery store for Colombian goodies to take home. I met NG (fellow TA at school) for lunch--bandeja paisa, mmm--and we talked about life and laughed. Then I went to meet my friends K and N (from the Prado trip) and we went to a mall by the Portal 80 for a movie. "Esto Es Guerra"--This is War, about two spies with the same girlfriend. Very funny! It was in English with Spanish subtitles.
After that, we had some frozen yogurt and talked about everything, and we each traveled home.

Thus, against my will, we had arrived at Tuesday: the last day in Bogota, for now. I woke up, made a quick check that I had packed enough, got ready, and went to school to say my very last goodbyes. When I arrived (just in time for first recess) the kids were thrilled, and mobbed me like a celebrity. I have definitely been missing them.
I got through as many farewells as I could, and then I headed to the Foundation. On the way, I treasured the last bus ride, the last Transmi ticket purchased, the penultimate Transmi ride, and the last time being caught off guard by Bogota rain. When I got to Fundacion Internacional Maranata, I ate a yummy lunch and chatted with J and Mr. A a while. Then the kids presented me with a goodbye poster they had prepared with the help of their teacher. We all had some really amazing cake he Foundation had spotted in farewell, from funds that I know it does not have to give. Such a blessing. Then each kid said some words in farewell. Lovely!
After that, it was pretty much time to get back up north for dinner at Crepes & Waffles with Marv and Judy.
Marv had some salmon dish, Judy had a bread bowl with fondue cheese and mushrooms, and I had the crepes Ghandi--some delicious sort of Indian spiced crepe with cheese, veggies, and other tastiness. We were all very content. Then, during various excessively tasty desserts, we said our thank yous, farewells, and blessings. A nice time to tie things up.
We all walked home together and enjoyed a chill evening. Mr. and Mrs. A stopped by to say goodbye, and then I went to check on my packing and sleep.

Wednesday I woke up at 4, got to the airport, saw my friend A, who works at the airport, almost saw G for a final farewell (he flew to Buenos Aires the same day), and then got on the plane against my will. ;) I took pictures of Colombia from the air, listened to music, watched the movie, and lost my cell phone. Royal bummer. But, as I told my family (using a kind crew member's cell phone to let them know), I believe God is fully capable of bringing the phone back to me if he sees fit. Plus I got home safe and sound, so I am not the least bit worried. :)

I had plans Thursday and Friday to see some friends, and I will see more when I am home after "spring break". It's nice to be in my family again. As much as I've grown in all this time away, as much as I've learned, as many adventures as I've had--that first embrace with my sisters and parents will never know an equal.

xox

Un día colombiano para llevar, porfis.

Best: getting to go to Barrio Egipto today after hearing all the stories and being a part of a group that got the chance to change the way progress is being made in the neighborhood...just, wow.

Worst: goodbyes to the first graders. uuuuuuush.
___________________________________________________________

Well, yesterday I woke up at the leisurely hour of days on which I go to the Foundation. I ate my breakfast, and then called Mr. A to see if we could travel downtown together. Ah, bummer, he'd left five minutes before. Still, he very kindly told me he'd be back to get me pronto. :)

So, I spent the morning being delivery and secretary en route to the Foundation. He had invitations to deliver to various folks for his latest event--March 27. And also many call-in invitations to make. I dialed, and he made me laugh. Just with his manner of addressing and greeting and talking to people. He has a gift.

Upon arrival at the International Maranatha Foundation, I continued to work on my video transcription/translation of the testimony of a man named Carlos Alonso Lucio. Ask for the incredible story sometime. I'm loving spending so much time digesting it and thinking about it.
I had lunch with J, who somehow has been able to remain in the employ of the crazy Mr. A. for quite some time. :) We laughed a lot about Colombian food, and chicken feet, and other crazy things.

(I'm so cool)

In the afternoon I continued at my translation work, after snitching some hugs from the busy, hardworking kids down below. Dang, I'll miss them.

In the evening it was once again Quality Time with Mr. A. on the long trafficky drive home. I played assistant again, dialing phone calls.
Let me just say that Bogotá skies are insanely hermosos always. Especially at about 5:30 in the afternoon. Just incredibly lucent and colorful and beautifully clouded.
Also, Mr. A's a generous boss who buys us roscones, sweet breads, as snacks on the way home.

When I got home, I walked in the door just in time for homemade mac and cheese. :) Thanks, host-mom Judy. Love the goodness you set on the table! After dinner, I chilled and cleaned and went on Facebook and started a great endeavor of making farewell cards for each first grader, complete with a portrait of the two of us on each. I will miss them intensely.

_ _ _ _ _

Today, I went to school for the last morning on duty. Deeeeeep breath.

I savored my last moments of supervision at my post in the morning by the front entry. I greeted the kids as warmly as ever, helped with Juanes (who'd gotten carsick in the bus ride, pobrecito), and then normal TA duties. We read, we prayed, we ate snack, we played at recess, we did Bible activities, we went to gym and they did trampoline stunts, and then we went to the computer lab to work on powerpoints of the Ancient World and El Salvador. No relation. :)

One by one, I pulled them out of the lab to take a photo with them, and give them each their letter and a heart shaped chocolate (thanks Mama!!). They give the best hugs, those precious ones.
I then whizzed throughout the elementary building bidding farewells, giving out contact info and heart chocolates to my adoptive mother figures--the other teacher aides, who are incredible, amazing, Christ-following, motherly gifted ladies with great big hearts and who ended up appreciating my cooperation and impact a lot. What a blessing.
Also, a summary and farewell conversation with the Elementary Principal to see how things lay. I thanked her profusely for the blessing of an experience she gave me in my short two months here. I learned a montón about how I feel and do in educational occupations, and now have further direction as to decisions about majors and careers. That's no small thing. And her incredible willingness to work with me on those things and give insight and flexibility to give me time in other age groups--just wonderful. She then informed me that I, too, have been a blessing to her. Such an encouragement! I had been concerned, and hoping that entering in midway through the year, and leaving before it's over, and shifting around the days I came...I wondered if it would be any benefit to the students or the school as a whole. Apparently I was--good news. :)

After a mountain of goodbyes, I headed out the gates. I'll be back to chill a bit on Tuesday before I leave, but it was the last day on duty.

I headed down south to meet with Pastor E, who runs the ministry of Buena Semilla in the neighborhood that is called Egipto (Egypt). This is a story well worth telling. That's why I'm going to wait until I'm experiencing reverse culture shock, missing all the Spanish speaking friends, missing the mountains, the skies, the ajiaco, arepas, mazorca, guanabana, mango, papaya, arequipe, café, chocolate, and my work...yeah, until I'm lonely at home sometime. I'll post the whole shpeal.
But, I distracted myself, sorry.
I got to the Las Aguas station of the Transmilenio not too much later than I'd hoped. Pastor E met me in the station, and then we took a quick bus up the mountain a ways, and in a jiffy I was walking on the very plaza that my group had been dropped off at nine months and one day ago, and from there had made the fateful climb up the hill and right into God's plan for that day.

I cannot convey the sensation of climbing that hill with Pastor E, under completely different circumstances. And getting into that foundation's doors, meeting the kids, playing basketball for over an hour, drawing pictures, spinning kids, speaking in English for them, and seeing the mural on the wall that moved me to tears and quickened my pulse with sheer joy.

Then I was able to see the lot they are hoping to buy nearby in order to start what would basically be a center for occupations, and getting the ex-convicts, ex- or current-drug addicts, and people from other strugglesome situations back to reputable and consistent work. See a video here made in tandem with the Buena Semilla ministry by these guys a year or so ago. And here is the video promoting the purchase of the lot. Big stuff, real stuff. Stuff that changes lives forever.

After that, I went back down the mountain, walking with Pastor E and a missionary couple from Canada that have been here my whole life--18 years. I was literally SHOCKED at how only a two-way road separates this Barrio Egipto from the classic, colonial constructions of the Candelaria district--a culturally rich and heavily touristy site. Just...wow. Two worlds so completely different. So close!

Then I came home for the evening, and have been thinking about the amazing day I had, the cool day tomorrow at the Foundation, and about how I will be able to handle saying goodbyes tomorrow to the Foundation kids. Oh gracious...

Peace. xox