Tired and content: Day 7

Best of today: being told by a Colombian: "You're not a gringa." (in the senses of 1. my dark hair, and the paler skin common in Bogotá, and 2. for my Spanish pronunciation and vocabulary) :D

Worst of today: admitting defeat.
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This morning arrived way too fast. Rrrrahhhhhhhhrghhh.

At school today, I jumped around again. I joined the Elementary students for chapel, where we sang and played fruit of the Spirit jeopardy (bet you didn't see that one coming! It was great). Then I worked with the 1st graders a bit, and then supervised snacktime and recess. Today the children were truly struggling with obedience and respect of their teacher and us, the teacher aids. It was so out of character for what I've seen (and what the teacher says has been this semester's norm) so far. Discouraging. I hope to see growth and maturity in them in the coming weeks...
I then proceeded into odd-jobs mode. Someone needed copies, and this sheet to be cut into this many sections. The playground constructors (from the Illinois team)  needed some translating. The first graders had social studies to do, and that involved some writing, drawing and gluing, so I milled around the little desks with NG (friend, teacher's aid, from the States) with assistance.
Lunchtime with the teachers is always fun. One of the high points of the day, to be sure. I love the mix of Spanish and English I hear and take part in. Today NG and I were talking with and about some Colombians our age who've graduated from ECA and who we've both kind of gotten to know a bit (her more than I), and it was so exciting to put the pieces together from my mission trip to now. Plus I have a promised dance night with them! :)
The fourth graders had their trip to the library to check out books and return them, so I assisted in reminding them of library protocol--and we were read aloud (by my host mother) a wonderful book called Moosestache! By the way, the view from the library takes my breath away every single time. You're looking up straight into the mountains and the sweeping fog, or blue sky (depending on the time of day), and it's incredible. I might read more just to be in there!
After that came the hard part of the day. I had been assigned to J, a 4th grader in need of extra math help. I had glimpsed that on my daily schedule early on in the day, and had no idea how it was going to go down.

Now, I know 4th grade math is not calculus. It's not trig, it's not geometry...it's not even algebra. However, my weakness being math, how was I going to explain concepts I had to just memorize and not understand? And how badly I want to be able to help this girl--to be helpful to the school and for the teachers, but ultimately to J. Her (missionary) family's moved around so much that she has fallen behind, and I want so badly to be helpful, knowing just what being behind can be like.

But, as God humblingly showed me today, I cannot do it all. This was the first task I've been assigned that I realized I will not be able to fulfill adequately.

Defeat. Failure, feels like. I talked to the 4th grade teacher, and then together we talked to the principal to have a mutual understanding and figure this out. They were extremely gracious. The principal (SJ) was even showing me how this is what the body of Christ does. She explained in terms of not wanting the "hands" of the body to act as "feet"; they can, sure, but why not let the "feet" do the footwork. I felt a relief as I realized nobody expects me to be able to do everything perfectly. And, heck, even if they did, God never has and never will--and he faithfully brings me to my humbling place and makes me feel comfortingly small in his arms again.

Plus, he created Colombian hot chocolate. He really must love us, right? :) xox